Nearly 1 in 4 U.S. Couples Hide Financial Secrets

Nearly one in four U.S. couples say they have kept a financial secret from their partner, according to a Fidelity Investments survey, a trend advisers link to gaps in communication and trust.

Fidelity surveyed 3,193 U.S. adults who had been married or in a long-term relationship for at least three years between Oct. 14 and Nov. 2, 2025. The report found 91% of respondents claim to talk openly about money, but only 29% discuss day-to-day finances. Seventy percent of couples did not know their partner’s full financial picture until they moved in together. About half wished they spoke more about everyday spending, and more than 40% avoid money conversations to prevent arguments.

The survey also found differences in how couples handle household finances. Nearly 60% of couples do not contribute equally to household expenses, and 23% said that imbalance affects the relationship. Fifty-six percent of respondents monitor their partner’s spending.

Michael Hollis, a principal and financial planner based in Aurora, Illinois, framed financial secrecy as a relationship problem driven by trust and communication. He recalled an early example in his marriage when his future wife hesitated to share student loan information because of shame, and said her later openness helped build trust between them.

Behavioral expert Jacquette M. Timmons described money conversations as emotionally charged and linked to upbringing, culture and identity. She told advisers that clients often expect partners to use money the same way they do, which can delay necessary talks. “It is about the degree to which people allow themselves to be vulnerable,” she said.

Advisers interviewed for the survey response recommend turning money discussions into regular habits rather than limiting them to formal planning sessions. They encourage asking clients about personal expectations, biases and how identity and power dynamics affect financial choices. One suggested technique is to walk through a recent decision with both partners: outline what each person considered, the trade-offs they weighed and how the choice affected their relationship. Reconstructing the decision process can shift the focus from blame to understanding.

Fidelity’s data and adviser guidance point to specific issues advisers address in client work: hidden debts, unequal contributions, routine avoidance of spending talks and monitoring of partner accounts. Advisers say creating a safe space for honest exchanges and making financial conversations routine can help couples address those problems before they complicate financial planning.