When clients conceal money, advisors face sensitive talks

Wealth advisors across the U.S. report clients conceal money through secret cash withdrawals, private accounts and undisclosed investments. Advisors link the behavior to trust and relationship problems and say conversations should be neutral and careful.

Signs often appear in routine account reviews: repeated ATM withdrawals, unreported brokerage accounts and investments made without a spouse’s knowledge. Advisors say these patterns typically surface during periodic statement reviews or client check-ins.

Guli Fager, a wealth advisor at Toler Financial Group in Baltimore, points to recurring large ATM withdrawals as a common indicator. ‘If you use your imagination about what someone would need $300 every day to spend on, it’s usually drugs, sex work or gambling,’ she noted. Finding that activity can prompt a couple to separate or seek divorce. Fager recommends asking practical, nonaccusatory questions such as whether cash is used to pay a housekeeper or a lawn service to allow ordinary explanations to surface.

A Fidelity survey found 29% of respondents report discussing daily finances with their partners, and nearly half said they avoid money talks to prevent arguments. A 2023 survey found 38% of U.S. adults have lied to a romantic partner about their finances at some point.

Brent Gardner, an independent insurance broker in Dallas, characterizes some cases as privacy rather than infidelity. He reports working with clients in government, military and political roles who keep separate accounts, and with situations involving trusts or claims set up for children or partners kept from a spouse. Gardner urges advisors who cannot protect client confidentiality to decline that work.

Shane Tenny, managing partner at Spaugh Dameron Tenny in Charlotte, notes that affluent clients sometimes save or invest privately. He links that behavior to life changes such as children leaving home, which can free time and money to pursue investments without consulting a partner.

Advisors recommend remaining neutral, controlling emotional reactions and asking simple, nonaccusatory questions when discussing suspected concealed money. They suggest offering benign explanations, documenting findings in the client file and, when secrecy appears extreme, recommending professional counseling or mediation.

Some advisors view the ability to keep client information private as part of service. They say confidentiality can build trust with clients and that matching an advisor’s services to a client’s needs helps avoid conflicts and preserve the advisor’s practice.