Nearly 1 in 4 couples hide money secrets, Fidelity finds

Nearly one in four couples in the U.S. admit to hiding a financial secret from a partner, according to a Fidelity Investments survey of 3,193 adults conducted Oct. 14–Nov. 2, 2025. Financial advisors recommend regular, open conversations to address conflicts and rebuild trust.

The survey found 91% of respondents reported talking openly about money with their partner, but only 29% discuss daily finances. Seventy percent said they did not know their partner’s full financial picture until they moved in together. Half said they wished they talked more about day-to-day spending, and more than 40% avoid money conversations to prevent arguments. The sample included adults who had been married or in long-term relationships for at least three years.

The data also identified household imbalances: almost 60% of couples reported unequal contributions to household finances, 23% said that imbalance affects the relationship, and 56% monitor their partner’s spending.

Michael Hollis, a principal and financial planner at an Aurora, Illinois registered investment adviser, described financial infidelity-hiding income, debt, accounts or spending-as typically a relationship issue rather than only a financial one, and pointed to lack of trust and poor communication as common causes.

Hollis recalled a personal example: “When my wife and I were first considering getting engaged, she was unenthusiastic about sharing her student loan debt because of a feeling of shame. But her being vulnerable about that was part of the foundation of trust that was built between us.”

Jacquette M. Timmons, a financial behaviorist, said many couples avoid money talks because discussing personal finances forces vulnerability and can trigger shame or guilt. “It’s not about the numbers,” she added, noting partners often expect each other to think and behave with money the same way despite different upbringings and cultural influences.

Timmons recommended that advisors encourage clients to have routine money conversations at home rather than limiting discussions to meetings. She advised asking couples about expectations, biases and how identity or power dynamics shape financial choices. One technique she suggested is reverse engineering a recent financial decision to see what each partner weighed and how the choice affected the relationship.

Advisors interviewed for the survey said creating a safe space for honesty and focusing on rebuilding trust can help after financial secrets surface. They said many clients delay raising money issues until they threaten retirement saving, major purchases or estate planning, and that prompting low-stakes, regular discussions can reduce that risk.